if he can’t help but
degrade other women
when they’re not looking
if toxicity is central to his language
he could hold you
in his lap and be soft
honey
that man could feed you sugar and
douse you in rose water
but that still could not
make him sweet
-Rupi Kaur
This is something I didn’t understand when I was young. I had no idea I was marrying a misogynist. The men in my family treated women with respect and adoration. So I had no idea what to think when my then-husband would come home from work and say things like he wished he could shoot all the women that he worked with. This was especially frightening due to the fact that he was in the Marine Corps at the time and frequently used a M-16 rifle.
I think that is part of the reason why I find Trump and his racist, misogynistic rants absolutely appalling. I cannot fathom how any man who has a wife and a daughter can possibly vote for Trump. To me, it’s a direct contradiction. I want those I love and care for to be supported and uplifted. Really, I want everyone to be supported and uplifted. As a society, we are only as strong as our weakest link. Our focus needs to be on lifting each other up, not tearing each other down.
“ If you’re so caught up in your own ego and bumper sticker politics that you can’t see that you’re consigning me and other women and people of color and immigrants to 4 years of a racist, anti-woman, anti-health, anti-education villain — then no, [redacted], you don’t love me. Because love is demonstrated by action. And a vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote for somebody who wants me to be able to go to the doctor, who wants me to be able to marry who I love, and who wants me to live my life. She wants that for you too, and I’m sorry you can’t see that. But don’t lie to me and tell me you love me. And if you think all politicians don’t lie sometimes or fudge the truth sometimes, even your beloved Bernie — I don’t know what planet you live on. I don’t lionize Hillary and I’m suspicious of anyone who lionizes and idolizes a politician. It’s the mark of a weak mind.Hate Hillary if you want. Say she’s a bitch; she’s a liar; she’s not charming enough for you; she doesn’t embody a particular example of womanhood or intersectionality or sweetness or light in the way that you particularly envision those things. But do not lie to me and tell me you love me or any woman or person of color or immigrant or queer individual in this country and then throw away your vote. It’s a vote for Trump. And when the dust settles,if Trump wins, no one will pat you on the back when you stand up and shout, “I did the right thing! I voted for Jill Stein!” We’ll all be too busy trying to find a way to see a doctor, or marry somebody we love, or protect a friend. Or protect ourselves. Or protect you.”-Sara Benincasa
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