The Cure for Anything

I’ve got a hot date tonight.  At least, I hope it’s hot.

Me, a glass of wine, a good book, and a warm blanket.  That should be hot enough, right?  😉

I’m fortifying myself for the week ahead.  My dear friend Sheryl wrote yesterday about blanket forts, table forts, comfort forts.  I loved making those as a kid, and I loved making them with my son.  So yesterday, I made one for myself.  I got out my colored pencils and did a little doodling.  I read.  I just thought.

Although I don’t play a part of the insanity of Christmas, the overspending, the conspicuous consumption, the stressing out over every detail, this is still a difficult week.  So when I came home yesterday evening from the gym and found an email from “Seattle” waiting for me, you could’ve knocked me over with a feather.  Not what I needed this week. No.  Definitely not.  Those of you who’ve been close to me for years know the Seattle story, and those who don’t…well… this probably won’t make much sense because I’m not going to rehash it now.  Suffice to say that Seattle knocked me for a loop for years.  You know when someone has a way of saying your name, a way that you can hear in your head, even when you read it?  Yeah.  The email started with a “Hi, honey” and threw in a “Lis” for good measure.  Only those closest to me call me Lis.  It’s a nickname that I love.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”

Too painful is absolutely correct.  The hardest thing I ever realized was that I could love someone, but that didn’t mean I could be with them.  I was torn up for years, but it did make me transform my life.  It hurt like hell, but it took me to a much better place.  It’s more of a bittersweet pain now, and all these years later, I still know that I made the right decision.

I’m going back to my blanket fort now. I’d like to stay there until mid-April.  Just deliver occasional food, wine, and books and I’ll be satisfied.