If I Wanted a Boat { Poetry}

Tuesday, March 8, 2016 Family, Learning, Photography, Poetry, Poetry Tuesday, Thinking No tags Permalink

I would want a boat, if I wanted a

boat, that bounded hard on the waves,

that didn’t know starboard from port

and wouldn’t learn, that welcomed

dolphins and headed straight for the

whales, that, when rocks were close,

would slide in for a touch or two,

that wouldn’t keep land in sight and

went fast, that leaped into the spray.

What kind of life is it always to plan

and do, to promise and finish, to wish

for the near and the safe? Yes, by the

heavens, if I wanted a boat I would want

a boat I couldn’t steer.

-Mary Oliver

Each time I try to take control, steering and holding on too tightly, I get lost. It’s so easy to want to steer every moment, every direction in life, to feel safe and secure in where we are headed. Or even, for the more relaxed among us, who steer our life more generally, allowing for a few false starts and leeward winds – to fix our eyes unwaveringly on the distant goal, the aim, the ever-moving target.

Meditation is a practice in letting go. In meditation, a thousand things arise, and we let them go Or at least we try to let them go. 😉

Why practice letting go? Polly Young-Eisendrath made the following point about practicing mindfulness, but it applies to letting go as well:

“The reason for learning… is not so that you can sit around and meditate. It’s like when you learn to drive a car in a parking lot. It’s not so you can drive that car in parking lots. You learn in the parking lot because it’s a restricted, safe area. When you [meditate] it’s like learning to drive in the parking lot. Then, in time, you take the car out onto the highway…. Practice is cultivated in order to get around in life….”

Sometimes the concepts about craving, clinging, attachment, and letting go are misunderstood. People misinterpret it to mean that we should be free from desire and interpersonal relationships. In Buddhism there are good desires—the desire to help others, to be happy, the desire to be a good parent or a good spouse are excellent examples.

Attachment is not the same thing as relationship. Affection, love, care and concern are the very essence of enlightened life. Rinpoche explained the difference between love and attachment this way: Love is “How can I make you happy?” Attachment is “Why aren’t you making me happy?”

Attachment refers to a rigid, tight clinging and holding on to something, as if it were an existential life-raft. For example, think of a person clinging to a relationship that’s already dead and unable to move on. He keeps returning to a dry well, hoping for water, stuck in despair.

I’m happier when I let go of my expectations and demands on life, and accept life as it is, and myself as I am. That doesn’t mean I stop making efforts to improve myself and my circumstances—it’s just that I don’t demand that my efforts always succeed. As Anne Lamott so aptly noted, when we want to make God laugh, we tell Her our plans. We understand that there’s no such thing as perfection. There’s just life.

If you listen to the audio file I’ve inserted, you’ll get to hear a reading of the poem by my favorite cousin, Daniel. He sent it to me this weekend, as he knows I’m a Mary Oliver fan, just like him. We’re fellow black sheep of the family, as well as fans of poetry, museums, indie films, and Thai food. I don’t have much family in town anymore (this isn’t my hometown) and I miss having him around since he moved last year.

ima