• Monday, January 22, 2018 No tags Permalink

    I’v been hearing about how so many of us are  feeling lethargic, unmotivated, or worn out. I realized we are not really made to rocket straight through winter, ablaze with energy. Look at nature– the ground, plants and animals are deep at rest. That is the natural way of things. We need to spend some time with the long nights, the moon, solitude, the bare earth, stillness. Be easier on yourself.

    We tend to forget that we are still a part of nature and our biological clock isn’t set to perform 4 seasons at rocket speed…we need to listen to the body and nature more.

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  • Happiness and Purpose

    Saturday, January 20, 2018 No tags Permalink

    The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily.”

    ~ Plato

    Christopher Reeve was born into a wealthy family in New York. Reeve split his young adult life between Ivy League schools in the United States and sipping wine and riding horses around Europe. In 1978, Reeve hit his big break and scored the role of Superman in a big-budget Hollywood movie. He earned millions and became one of the most recognizable celebrities in the world.

    Reeve made a fortune. He spent that fortune on nice houses, nice cars, luxurious parties and his passion for riding horses.Then in 1995, Reeve fell off a horse and cracked two vertebrae in his spine. He would never walk or breathe on his own again.

    He became an advocate for the disabled and spent the rest of his life fundraising for spinal cord research. He was the first celebrity supporter of stem cell research. Reeve later claimed that his accident helped him “appreciate life more.” It wasn’t a joke. He noted that there were “able-bodied people more paralyzed than I am,” and once remarked, “I can laugh. I can love. I am a very lucky guy.”

    Happiness, like every other emotion, isn’t something you obtain, but rather something you inhabit. When you’re really angry, you are not self-conscious about your state of anger. You are not thinking to yourself, “Am I finally angry? Am I doing this right?” No, you’re just angry. You inhabit and live the anger. You are the anger. And then it’s gone.

    Just as a confident man doesn’t wonder if he’s confident, a happy man does not wonder if he’s happy. He simply is.

    What this implies is that happiness is not achieved, but rather it is the side effect of a particular set of ongoing life experiences. So often we get this wrong, especially since happiness is marketed as a goal in and of itself. Buy X and be happy. Learn Y and be happy. But you can’t buy happiness and you can’t achieve happiness. It just is. And it is once you get other parts of your life in order.

    Research shows that people who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, less healthy, and less happy in the long run. 

    One vital aspect of attaining a measure of happiness is to have a sense of a purpose in life.  For most of us, it is something that is constantly evolving as we move through life. This is my latest iteration:

    To live mindfully and passionately in the present moment, to discover my surroundings, discover myself, to follow my heart and to love freely, to become the greatest version of myself, to be a lifelong learner, to seek adventure and growth, and to spread kindness and peace along the way.

    I ask myself these questions to discover my purpose: What do you love? What are you good at? What are your greatest passions? What makes you truly feel alive? Make certain to follow your heart (do all those things that make you feel happy, that lift your spirits, that give you butterflies, that make you feel light) and evolve spiritually — become more enlightened.

  • Three Things

    Friday, September 8, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I tend to agree with this. Love is a verb. As the expression goes, put your money where your mouth is. Kind and lovely words are nice, but they have no meaning if there’s not an action behind them.

    Let’s face it, everyone lives a busy life in today’s world. But we all make time for things we value.  We choose what is important to us and how we spend our most precious asset: our time.

    This quote by Maya Angelou rings so true:

    “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

    I tend to give people a lot of chances, some say too many chances. But I’m not afraid to cut out people who always take and never give.  I’ve done it before, and while it’s difficult at first, it’s what’s best. Life is too short to be surrounded by the wrong people.

  • ❤️

    Saturday, August 5, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Attraction is common. What is rare is having someone who wants to grow and build with you. A partner in every sense of the word, a true confidante, a soul mate. ❤️

  • Strong

    Saturday, July 1, 2017 No tags Permalink

    A strong woman doesn’t just simply fall.

    She tumbles, she collapses, she plummets, she slips, and she does a complete nose-dive off of her sturdy cliff that she has been clinging onto for so long.

    This does not make her weak. Falling for you is the exact opposite of weak. When a strong woman falls, she may fully give herself away, but she is in full knowledge of what she is doing and she embraces it.

    See, a strong woman doesn’t fall often. But when a strong woman falls, she completely lets go.

    When a strong woman is falling for you, she will give everything of herself to you. This isn’t because she does not know how to handle her emotions. This is because she cares so much for you beyond herself that she is willing to give up pieces of her just to bring comfort to you. She knows that in order to be comfortable with you, she is going to have to learn to become comfortable with emotions that she wasn’t so close with before.

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  • The Shape

    Wednesday, June 28, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I stumbled upon this wonderful writing by Morgan Wade last night. I was so sleepy that I saved it to come back and read again this morning, and I’m so glad I did. It”s beautiful and it hits so close to home for me.  it reiterates what I’ve been telling myself for some time now- get out of your own way and open yourself to all the good things in your life . ❤️

    We were parked in front of a P.F. Chang’s, lit by the pale blue lights of the dash. He squeezed my hand while I let it wash over me: “It’s like there’s a hole in your cup,” he said, “Like I’m pouring and pouring all I have into it, but it’s never going to be enough.”

    He said the thing that was so true it burned clear down to the raw pink insides of me. I don’t think I would have let anyone else say anything so face-punchingly true. But him? Eyes big and longing, wet with hope. He’d named something so true it rang out, like striking a tuning fork, and everything in and around me started to sing in that same pitch of deep, unquenchable need. So what could I do?

    I heaved deep sobs, hot tears streaming down my face like electric eels. “I’m sorry,” I wept. “I’m so sorry.” And he pet my head, and kissed at my tears. “No sorry,” he said. “Just let me love you. Believe it.”

    I love relationships because they’re so close to the meat; they bleed you, show you the color of your rich, human blood. In a relationship, the longing for love and acceptance is so primal that it brings us face to face to the tangled wall of crossed wires that keeps us from interpreting Love’s signals and signs in the way we really hope will feel good.

    Sometimes it means we’re speaking such a deeply confused language that recognizing vital, healthy love is virtually impossible — and we instead invite losers, parasites and / or expert manipulators into our beds. Other times, it means recognizing the true love that’s sleeping beside us every night is hard; we’re constantly messing with the switchboard to see if we heard it right, tweaking things a little and then wondering why our lover sounds like Morpheus down a dark alley.

    It’s hard work to figure out which is true: Am I missing the signs that this person is a walking red flag — or am I sleep-walking while sticking red flags in the path and calling them warning signs?

    I really believe the only way to know where you stand and if you’re in real danger — or just making it up — is to know the shape of the hole you want filled, and to know when YOU’RE the one tugging at the makeshift plug at the bottom of your cup.

    If the shape of your longing is familiar enough, you’ll know it. Pay attention; the feeling will be familiar across multiple facets of your life, and it will have the same tinge, same taste: that metallic something that leaves us thirsty, never quite soothed.

    If you’re never satisfied with your partnership — if he or she is always guilty of not loving you quite enough — then it’s likely you’re also feeling that way about your work, money, family, and any other vital relationships in your life.

    The feeling of “Not Enough” might be real; it can be a genius indicator that you need to get bigger, ask for more, or tolerate more bliss in your life. And it can also be true that you haven’t asked one of the most important questions:

    What would it be like to feel deserving of the love, attention, prosperity and worthiness you’re trying to elicit from these vital areas of your life?

    I believe in common denominators, and I believe that WE are the most reliable, consistent common denominator in our lives; wherever there is a pattern in our relationships, there is also us, helping to re-live and create it, so that we might heal from it.

    We don’t all have the same patterns. I have a client who truly believes she’s constantly being taken advantage of, and that the people who love her most are actually TRYING to hurt her — her pattern means she’s constantly finding (because she’s constantly looking for) proof that this is the case. Hidden behind that protective fire wall of blame is a woman with impossibly high standards who doesn’t recognize her own pattern of freezing out / pushing away her partner and the people who are trying to love her, be honest with her and invite her into her extraordinary capacity to feel.

    I have another client whose pattern is to date utterly loserly men who are often younger than her, with their proverbial shit all over the place. Her pattern is getting herself all woo’d by the excitement and electricity of these connections early on, but then ultimately becoming their mother, trying to teach them how to adult and be grown ass people. She (like a lot of women trying to call their men into their best selves) is occupying the space she wishes her man would take up, but HE CAN’T, because she’s there, babysitting it and trying to burp it out of him. Behind this pattern is deep roots in a fear that A) not being in control will kill her, B) she’s not worthy of someone who doesn’t need her to save them; C) she’d have to grow up, too, D) she’d have to give herself permission to want what she really wants: the love and steadiness of a man who sees through her initial aloofness, and will take up the masculine space she’s used to trying to control.

    My point is: your pattern is not my pattern or her pattern or theirs — it’s yours. It’s the shape of the hole YOU want filled. It’s the drama you will recreate over and over again until you steady yourself and stop trying to chase shiny surface-level issues to keep yourself (and your partner) busy and not looking at the really deep stuff: there is a need you never got met, and you don’t know how to meet it for yourself (yet), so you can’t possibly know how to ask for what you REALLY need, and your partner will be chasing shiny things with you until one of you cuts to the chase, points at the hole in the bottom of your cup and, with compassion, agrees to begin there, tenderly molding earth into the shape of absence until it holds, and both are filled.

  • Happy Midsummer

    Wednesday, June 21, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Midsummer, an observation of the longest day of the year, is celebrated in each of the Scandinavian countries. Midsummer was originally a pagan holiday, and tribute was paid to the powers of the sun god with bonfires signifying the defeat of darkness.

    In modern day Denmark bonfires are also an important part of the celebration. Danes gather for a picnic, and after dark a bonfire with an effigy of a witch on top is set ablaze. A rocket-like firecracker is concealed in the witch’s clothing which, upon ignition, represents the witch’s return to Bloksbjerg, a mountain in the Black Forest and the home of the devil.

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  • Happy Father’s Day!

    Sunday, June 18, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I was a daddy’s girl growing up. I thought my father could do just about everything.  I still do. 😊

    When I was 4, my dad’s head was as big as the world! I rode on his shoulders, clasping his forehead with my tiny hands and laughing as we ran through the grass.

    Together we were taller than God.

    My dad held my red Schwinn bike as I balanced my first solo trip, and ran alongside before letting me go to pedal into a new world.

    I remember whisker rubs and “serious talks” and standing on his feet to dance around the kitchen.
    He tied my ice skates double-tight, and there was always love- large and raw and imperfect.

    When I prowl through all the prayers in my heart, and in certain photographs in a special kind of light, I can see my dad’s face inside my own, saying “Stick with me kid!”


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  • ☀️

    Friday, June 16, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Haha! This is so me. Earlier this week the front of my Apple Watch became loose, so it had to be sent in to Apple. My son was nice enough to drop it off at the Apple Store and two days later, I had a new watch. Apparently, the battery was “swollen” and pushed the face off. I’m not sure how a lithium ion battery swells, but I’d rather not have it explode or catch on fire. Say what you will about Apple, they have amazing customer service. The watch wasn’t under warranty anymore, but they replaced it free of charge.

    Anyhow, I wear my watch all of the time (except when sleeping) and I’ve been doing a lot of riding lately, so I actually have a tan. Well, sort of a tan. Tan for me. 😉 Several people commented on my tan line from where my watch usually is on my wrist.

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  • A Simple Practice

    Monday, May 29, 2017 No tags Permalink

    There are two core fears: losing what you have, and not getting what you want. There is one solution: Falling in love with where you are…”
    Jeff Foster

    I have a huge struggle with this idea. The falling in love with where you are. It feels too complacent, too much like settling. Yet, I know it is a key factor in happiness. I guess like most things in life, it comes down to balance. I have been working on a simple practice for whenever I feel stress, frustration, worry, and all the other detrimental mindsets that bring upset into my life.

    • Focus, carefully, on what you’re feeling. Don’t numb it with distractions, but instead bring it further into your awareness.
    • Turn to it, and welcome it. Give what you feel your full, thoughtful attention.
    • Notice the feeling in your body. Where is the feeling situated, and what unique qualities does it have?
    • Notice the tension in your body, and also in your mind, that arises from this feeling.
    • Try relaxing the tense parts of your body. Then relax the tense parts of your mind. Focus on your breath: Close your eyes, breathe in and feel it, breathe out and feel it, again and again, until you feel more relaxed.
    • In this more relaxed state, find some quiet space within yourself.
    • Allow yourself to rediscover the fundamental goodness within you, that’s present in every moment.
    • Allow yourself to rediscover the fundamental goodness of this very moment; it is always available to you whenever you’re willing to focus on it.

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  • On Children

    Monday, May 22, 2017 No tags Permalink

    “Over the past two years I’ve become increasingly concerned that we’re raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment and have a strong sense of entitlement, which is very different than agency. Entitlement is “I deserve this just because I want it” and agency is “I know I can do this.” The combination of fear of disappointment, entitlement, and performance pressure is a recipe for hopelessness and self-doubt.” Brené Brown

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  • Three Bs

    Sunday, May 21, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Brunch, bicycles, and battleships. That was my Sunday.

    We’ve been wanting to try out this new restaurant nearby, and today we finally made it. When we arrived, the hostess asked if we knew it was their brunch only menu and was that okay? Brunch is always okay! I love brunch and this place had a spectacular one. Our accidental brunch made me think of this hilarious video.

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  • The Walls You Build

    Wednesday, May 10, 2017 No tags Permalink

    This is probably far truer than we want to believe. Isn’t it easier to tell yourself that you can’t do this or that because you’re married (or not married). Or you have kids. Or a house. Or blah, blah, blah. Insert excuse here.

    Many people believe they are trapped in situations and they cannot get out. (Hey, I’ve been there.) And they truly believe it was not their fault. The truth is, every situation you get yourself into is to some degree is your own fault. Yes there are some exceptions, but most things that happen in our lives happen because of what we do. It’s all about personal responsibility. The beauty of it is, you also have the power to get yourself out of anything you get yourself into.

    You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.

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  • Reminder!

    Monday, May 8, 2017 No tags Permalink

    A perfect reminder for all of us.

    You deserve someone who wants you, only you, and makes you feel wanted. Someone who can’t help but message you first thing in the morning when the sun light is slow-dancing through the curtain, and they’re barely waking. Someone who wants to spend their Friday nights with you, but also their lazy lemonade Sundays. Someone who holds their one-person umbrella right above you when it’s bucketing down, so that you’re sheltered, even if it means they get soaked through. You deserve someone who thinks of you, often. Someone who calls you on the phone at the end of a long day, because they want to hear the sound of your voice before they drift off into slumber. Someone who makes plans with you on a Tuesday evening, because the weekend is just too far away, and who cares if we have to go to work the next day.

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  • She Will Move Mountains

    Saturday, April 29, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Change that to the end of a very long week, and that was me last night. I took a hot shower and crawled between the sheets and then proceeded to sleep for the next 11 hours straight. Ahh, pure heaven. It’s no secret that I love my bed and I highly value getting enough sleep. I see it as a vital part of good self-care. Eat well, exercise, mediate, and sleep enough.

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  • Just Do It

    Wednesday, April 26, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I must have a warped sense of humor, because I laughed so hard at this. Especially the “make everyone around you super uncomfortable” part. 😂 I know lots of the stretching/mobility/glute work I do looks rather…odd. That’s okay though, because it works. Also, the great thing about being old is that you just don’t care what other people think. Like Nike says, just do it.

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  • Heavenly Day

    Monday, April 24, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I was too busy relaxing (is that an oxymoron?) to write much this weekend.  It was gorgeous here!  Evidence as such:

    The trees are in bloom, the sunshine was warm and golden, and the sky was a vivid, almost surreal blue.  Heaven on earth!

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