• Hello, June!

    Sunday, June 3, 2018 No tags Permalink


    Welcome to my favorite month of the year. June. Even the word June is beautiful.

    Long, sunny days and balmy nights that call for midnight walks, star-gazing, and ice cream. Sandal season.  Toenails painted the same vivid pink shade as my favorite peonies.

    Things to be grateful for:

    Fresh local strawberries

    Locally grown tomatoes and Caprese salad made with basil from my garden

    Little Red Riding Hood Torte.  With a name like that, I couldn’t resist.  😉

    The new series Patrick Melrose, based on the Edward St Aubyn books.  Also, Benedict Cumberbatch.  🙂

    A friend shared this photo with me, taken 30 years ago this week.  Time flies!

    And this photo taken this week:

  • Tiny Happy Things

    Monday, May 21, 2018 No tags Permalink

    Seemingly small things like this are actually the fabric of which our lives are made.  Notice them, savor them, pay attention.

  • Showing Up For Myself

    Sunday, May 20, 2018 No tags Permalink

    When my son was growing up, I made certain that I managed my priorities very carefully. Yes, I had a full-time job and a home I had to take care of on my own, but spending good, quality time with him each and every day was my priority. I never forgot it. The most precious gift you can give anyone is your time. Spending time with someone you care about is an investment and it the benefits you reap from that investment are immeasurable.

    But lately, I had been forgetting to make myself a priority. I’ve been working too much and dealing with too much negative stuff. I’ve been forgetting to have fun. People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. I’m not going to do that, I am going to live now. So, in the past few days, I have been remedying that. I joined a friend for an evening bike ride and a stop at the beer garden for a post-ride drink. I can’t think of the last time I saw a movie, so yesterday we went to see RGB. It was great, by the way. This morning I took a walk and then went to brunch. It’s been lovely, much needed, and so overdue.

    Summer is my favorite time of year, and I’m making the most of it. Some of my summer plans include:

      • The N.I.T.E Ride  Riding around downtown Indy at night is going to be such fun!
      • Symphony on the Praire- I got tickets for my birthday from a dear friend and we are going to pick out the best shows and go.  I pack one fantastic picnic basket!
      • More bike rides.  I’ve started riding 4-5 times a week and it’s been great.
      • More farmer’s markets. I have a friend who loves them too, so we’re planning to meet and eat our way through. 😉
      • Re-learning how to swim. I love the water, but I’ve somehow forgotten the freestyle stroke. I found someone who will teach me again so I can get back in the water.  Yay!

    What are you doing to make the most of your life, here and now?

    Reclaim your mornings. Start a morning ritual that gives you space to take care of yourself before you have to take care of the world. Start with just a few minutes of one of the following activities:

    • Write. Make a list of what you are grateful for or jot down what’s filling your mind.
    • Meditate. Sit quietly and pay attention to your breath, or use a guided meditation app like Headspace.
    • Drink your tea or coffee slowly.
    • Stretch. Reach for sky. Reach for toes. Twist and move around.
    • Read. Choose a book over email or the internet.

    Choose other activities that fuel your body, brain, heart and soul and slowly build your morning routine.

    Edit your to-do list. We can’t put off what we love in the name of our never-ending to-do lists. Ruthlessly cull your to-do list. Take a good hard look at what’s on it. What can wait? What can you delegate? What’s never going to happen? Edit your list until only the things that really need to happen or really will happen remain. Only leave what’s important on your list so you can get back to love and peace of mind.

    Make some space (just a little). You don’t have to declutter your entire home to create a sense of calm. Create a small minimalist sanctuary by decluttering one small space in your home. Start with a kitchen counter or your nightstand. Creating a minimalistic sanctuary in your home will inspire you to transform more of your space. The state of the space will also be a good reflection of how calm or crazy your life is. When papers start to pile up, it might be time to address what is piling up in other areas of your life.

    Make some time (just a little). If you are trying to figure out what’s best for you or what the next best step to take is, here is the most meaningful gift you can give to yourself right now: carve out five minutes each day to sit quietly and ask yourself the following questions (perhaps add this to your morning ritual).

    • What matters most today?
    • How do I really want to spend my time?
    • What do I need to do to take really good care of myself and the people I love today?

    Calculate your debt. Getting out of debt will change your life in ways you may not be able to imagine. It’s not a little change but every big change is the result of hundreds of little ones. Get started by simply calculating your debt. Create a clear picture of your finances. Don’t use that information to feel scared, guilty, or worried. Instead, use it to help you decide what the next step is. And don’t forget to congratulate yourself for taking the first little step. You stopped hiding from the truth. That’s a really big deal.

    Show up for the people you love. This may seem hard sometimes, but it isn’t. It’s probably the easiest little thing you can do to find your way back to love and peace. Showing up is different than being in the same room When you are with people you love, put your phone and other digital devices away. Look your loves in the eyes. Listen to their words. Be present. That’s it, show all the way up for the people you love.

  • Synchronicity

    Friday, April 27, 2018 No tags Permalink

    I’m having way too much fun with my letter board.  Apparently, I am easily amused, but I don’t see that as a bad thing.  🙂

    The universe is a funny thing.  Lately, I’ve been doing a better job of paying attention to what the universe is trying to teach me.  Sometimes things come together in such an interesting way.  Synchronicity at work.  Years ago I had record album by The Police called Synchronicity.  I loved that album.  Ironically, it contains the song Every Breath You Take, which I later came to hate, but the album is still great.  Especially the song Synchronicity II.  It refers to Carl Jung’s theory of synchronicity and tells the story of an emasculated husband and harried father whose home, work life, and environment are dispiriting and depressing.

    Another suburban family morning
    Grandmother screaming at the wall
    We have to shout above the din of our rice crispies
    We can’t hear anything at all
    Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration
    But we know all her suicides are fake
    Daddy only stares into the distance
    There’s only so much more that he can take
    Many miles away something crawls from the slime
    At the bottom of a dark Scottish lake
    Another industrial ugly morning
    The factory belches filth into the sky
    He walks unhindered through the picket lines today,
    He doesn’t think to wonder why
    The secretaries pout and preen like cheap tarts in a red light street,
    But all he ever thinks to do is watch,
    And every single meeting with his so-called superior
    Is a humiliating kick in the crotch
    Many miles away something crawls to the surface
    Of a dark Scottish loch
    Another working day has ended
    Only the rush hour hell to face
    Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes
    Contestants in a suicidal race
    Daddy grips the wheel and stares alone into the distance
    He knows that something somewhere has to break
    He sees the family home now, looming in his headlights
    The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache
    Many miles away there’s a shadow on the door
    Of a cottage on the shore
    Of a dark Scottish lake

    Many miles away…

    Anyhow, back to what the universe is telling me.  Several months ago, I requested that the library purchase the book Gift of injury: the strength athlete’s guide to recovering from back injury and winning again by Stuart McGill.  I just got the notification that it has arrived and I can pick it up.  That very night, my back went out, and for the past few days, I’ve had the worst and most painful back spasms of my life.  Non-stop.  If you are reading this,  you know me well, and you know that I don’t tolerate weakness in myself very well.  And by very well, I mean not at all.  😉 I am not good at needing help. I am not good at being dependent on anyone for anything.  But in the past few days, I’ve had times where I couldn’t get up off the floor on my own.  Talk about humbling. I am trying to practice more lovingkindness toward myself, more patience with myself, and more acceptance of myself.

    Earlier this week I was scanning through the documentaries on Netflix. I  love a good documentary. I stumbled upon Ram Dass: Going Home.  It was a really interesting film. Since suffering a life-changing stroke twenty years ago, he has been living at his home on Maui and deepening his spiritual practice — which is centered on love and his idea of merging with his surroundings and all living things.

    Some of my favorite lines :

    I am loving awareness.

    We are souls.  As souls, we are not under time or space. We are infinite.
    In this culture, dependency is a no-no. The stroke showed me dependency.  And that I have people who are dependable.

    I don’t wish you the stroke, I wish you the grace from the stroke.

    While having my back go out is nothing like a stroke, it’s minor and temporary.  But it did make me see that I have people who are dependable and that I can practice grace quite well.  I am learning.

  • What’s What

    Thursday, April 19, 2018 No tags Permalink

    What I’m Reading: This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel I always email myself quotes I like from books that I’m reading. Another good reason to love my Kindle! Here’s one from this book that made me laugh:

    “Missionary position was, as far as she could tell, like vanilla ice cream: purported to be boring and chosen only by passionless, unimaginative, exhausted people but really the best one. She liked to look at Penn’s face so close that it split into pieces like a modernist painting. She liked the length of his front pressed against the length of hers. She felt that people who needed to do it upside down and backward from behind—or who added candied bacon or smoked sea salt or pieces of raw cookies to their ice cream—were probably compensating for a product that was inferior to begin with.”

    Just for the record, I actually like vanilla ice cream.  Really good, well-made, high-quality vanilla ice cream.  I also like tasty additions to said vanilla ice cream sometimes.  Life is all about variety, you know?  😉

    What I’m Watching:  Howard’s End on Amazon streaming.I loved the book by E. M. Forster, and I loved the 1992 Merchant Ivory film starring Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson.  I’m a sucker for a well-written period piece with beautiful cinematography.

    What I’m Listening To:  I like listening to Spotify and the Instrumental Study playlist is great!

    Continue Reading…

  • Truth

    Friday, March 2, 2018 No tags Permalink


    If you fall in love with your best friend, that love has an excellent chance of withstanding the test of time.  Not just lasting, but growing exponentially.

    “Chemistry is you touching my arm and it setting fire to my mind.” nayyirah waheed


    Lots of more thoughts, but my brain is mush tonight so it will have to wait.  Hope everyone has a great weekend.  🙂

  • Hideaway

    Sunday, December 10, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I’d like to hide away for about a week in a place like this.  Lots of books, pots of hot tea, hours spent soaking in the tub, a cozy bed, a blazing fire, good company, and wine!

  • Express

    Friday, August 11, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Sometimes it was hard to express how much you loved someone. You said the words, but you could never quite capture the depth of it. You could never quite hold someone tightly enough.
    — Diane Chamberlain, The Midwife’s Confession

  • Good Things

    Thursday, August 10, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Most things that matter take time. Most things that are good don’t happen overnight. And most of the time the things that are worth waiting for really will require you to wait, to persist.

    “No matter how great the talent or efforts, some thing just take time. You can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.”- Warren Buffett

  • Gratitude

    Wednesday, August 2, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.

    Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

    The revelation that we have everything we need in life to make us happy but simply lack the conscious awareness to appreciate it can be as refreshing as lemonade on a hot afternoon. Or it can be as startling as cold water being thrown in our face. How many of us go through our days parched and empty, thirsting after happiness, when we’re really standing knee-deep in the river of abundance

  • The Shape

    Wednesday, June 28, 2017 No tags Permalink

    I stumbled upon this wonderful writing by Morgan Wade last night. I was so sleepy that I saved it to come back and read again this morning, and I’m so glad I did. It”s beautiful and it hits so close to home for me.  it reiterates what I’ve been telling myself for some time now- get out of your own way and open yourself to all the good things in your life . ❤️

    We were parked in front of a P.F. Chang’s, lit by the pale blue lights of the dash. He squeezed my hand while I let it wash over me: “It’s like there’s a hole in your cup,” he said, “Like I’m pouring and pouring all I have into it, but it’s never going to be enough.”

    He said the thing that was so true it burned clear down to the raw pink insides of me. I don’t think I would have let anyone else say anything so face-punchingly true. But him? Eyes big and longing, wet with hope. He’d named something so true it rang out, like striking a tuning fork, and everything in and around me started to sing in that same pitch of deep, unquenchable need. So what could I do?

    I heaved deep sobs, hot tears streaming down my face like electric eels. “I’m sorry,” I wept. “I’m so sorry.” And he pet my head, and kissed at my tears. “No sorry,” he said. “Just let me love you. Believe it.”

    I love relationships because they’re so close to the meat; they bleed you, show you the color of your rich, human blood. In a relationship, the longing for love and acceptance is so primal that it brings us face to face to the tangled wall of crossed wires that keeps us from interpreting Love’s signals and signs in the way we really hope will feel good.

    Sometimes it means we’re speaking such a deeply confused language that recognizing vital, healthy love is virtually impossible — and we instead invite losers, parasites and / or expert manipulators into our beds. Other times, it means recognizing the true love that’s sleeping beside us every night is hard; we’re constantly messing with the switchboard to see if we heard it right, tweaking things a little and then wondering why our lover sounds like Morpheus down a dark alley.

    It’s hard work to figure out which is true: Am I missing the signs that this person is a walking red flag — or am I sleep-walking while sticking red flags in the path and calling them warning signs?

    I really believe the only way to know where you stand and if you’re in real danger — or just making it up — is to know the shape of the hole you want filled, and to know when YOU’RE the one tugging at the makeshift plug at the bottom of your cup.

    If the shape of your longing is familiar enough, you’ll know it. Pay attention; the feeling will be familiar across multiple facets of your life, and it will have the same tinge, same taste: that metallic something that leaves us thirsty, never quite soothed.

    If you’re never satisfied with your partnership — if he or she is always guilty of not loving you quite enough — then it’s likely you’re also feeling that way about your work, money, family, and any other vital relationships in your life.

    The feeling of “Not Enough” might be real; it can be a genius indicator that you need to get bigger, ask for more, or tolerate more bliss in your life. And it can also be true that you haven’t asked one of the most important questions:

    What would it be like to feel deserving of the love, attention, prosperity and worthiness you’re trying to elicit from these vital areas of your life?

    I believe in common denominators, and I believe that WE are the most reliable, consistent common denominator in our lives; wherever there is a pattern in our relationships, there is also us, helping to re-live and create it, so that we might heal from it.

    We don’t all have the same patterns. I have a client who truly believes she’s constantly being taken advantage of, and that the people who love her most are actually TRYING to hurt her — her pattern means she’s constantly finding (because she’s constantly looking for) proof that this is the case. Hidden behind that protective fire wall of blame is a woman with impossibly high standards who doesn’t recognize her own pattern of freezing out / pushing away her partner and the people who are trying to love her, be honest with her and invite her into her extraordinary capacity to feel.

    I have another client whose pattern is to date utterly loserly men who are often younger than her, with their proverbial shit all over the place. Her pattern is getting herself all woo’d by the excitement and electricity of these connections early on, but then ultimately becoming their mother, trying to teach them how to adult and be grown ass people. She (like a lot of women trying to call their men into their best selves) is occupying the space she wishes her man would take up, but HE CAN’T, because she’s there, babysitting it and trying to burp it out of him. Behind this pattern is deep roots in a fear that A) not being in control will kill her, B) she’s not worthy of someone who doesn’t need her to save them; C) she’d have to grow up, too, D) she’d have to give herself permission to want what she really wants: the love and steadiness of a man who sees through her initial aloofness, and will take up the masculine space she’s used to trying to control.

    My point is: your pattern is not my pattern or her pattern or theirs — it’s yours. It’s the shape of the hole YOU want filled. It’s the drama you will recreate over and over again until you steady yourself and stop trying to chase shiny surface-level issues to keep yourself (and your partner) busy and not looking at the really deep stuff: there is a need you never got met, and you don’t know how to meet it for yourself (yet), so you can’t possibly know how to ask for what you REALLY need, and your partner will be chasing shiny things with you until one of you cuts to the chase, points at the hole in the bottom of your cup and, with compassion, agrees to begin there, tenderly molding earth into the shape of absence until it holds, and both are filled.

  • Happy Midsummer

    Wednesday, June 21, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Midsummer, an observation of the longest day of the year, is celebrated in each of the Scandinavian countries. Midsummer was originally a pagan holiday, and tribute was paid to the powers of the sun god with bonfires signifying the defeat of darkness.

    In modern day Denmark bonfires are also an important part of the celebration. Danes gather for a picnic, and after dark a bonfire with an effigy of a witch on top is set ablaze. A rocket-like firecracker is concealed in the witch’s clothing which, upon ignition, represents the witch’s return to Bloksbjerg, a mountain in the Black Forest and the home of the devil.

    Continue Reading…

  • Hello June!

    Thursday, June 1, 2017 No tags Permalink


      • Good Things
    • haircuts
    • the ocean air
    • waterfalls
    • falling asleep under the stars
    • farmers markets
    • when you step outside in the morning and the air seems fresher and crisper than it does during the day
    • trampolines
    • ice cream
    • car rides and night-time adventures
    • the sounds of nature
    • feeling the wind in your hair
    • long bicycle rides
    • the beach at night
    • picnics under the shade of a tree
    • lying in a field of flowers
    • fireworks
    • brightly painted toe nails
    • good company
    • making a wish on a dandelion
    • driving with the windows rolled down
    • flowers
    • reading in the sunshine
    • cold brew iced coffee on the patio
    • naps
    • summer rain and the sun shining through your half-drawn blinds in the morning
    • people who give hugs with a little squeeze at the end
    • outdoor cinemas
    • movies that make you laugh
    • movies that make you cry
    • movies that make you do both
    • how every single day the sky looks different
    • clear blue skies that remind you of the endless possibilities that life has to offer
    • listening to songs that you listened to when you were younger
    • dusk
    • days like these
    • hope
    • now

    “…I want first of all – in fact, as an end to these other desires – to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central cor to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact – to borrow from the language of the saints -to live ‘in grace’ as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony…”
    ― Anne Morrow Lindbergh

    “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

    The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
    ― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

  • Once in a Lifetime

    Friday, May 26, 2017 No tags Permalink


    The best kind of people are the ones who come into your life and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people who believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people who love you, simply for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people. ❤️

  • Weekend Plans

    Saturday, March 25, 2017 No tags Permalink

    Yes, this looks good to me. I just need a “Snoopy” to cuddle with and I’m all set. ☺️ I’m not feeling my usual weekend surge of “let’s get stuff done”.  I’m not feeling bad, on the contrary, I feel relaxed. That’s what enough sleep and plenty of fresh air will do for me.

    Continue Reading…

  • 25 Self Care Ideas for Bad Days

    Monday, January 23, 2017 No tags Permalink

    As much as we would like it to be, there’s no such thing as clear weather, calm seas, and smooth sailing forever, no matter how hard we wish for it. The fact is, life is hard work–for all of us.

    The next time your life gets hard and you feel like chucking in the towel it definitely helps to remember that there are others out there having a rough go as well. And that they are surviving.

    But how do they go about it? Surviving, that is?

    Two words for you.

    Self care.

    Yeah, self-care. Something a lot of us suck at for a majority of the time, but something that is oh-so critical to surviving and thriving.

    The second takeaway is this. A bunch of ideas for self-care that will help you cope when life gets hard.

    Continue Reading…

  • Hygge

    Thursday, January 19, 2017 No tags Permalink

    It’s one of those mornings when the world outside is gray, bleak, and frigid. But it’s OK because I’m inside, drinking freshly-brewed tea by candlelight, my slipper-clad feet curled up underneath a fluffy blanket . Instead of battling the elements, engaging with my inbox or arranging my schedule for the day, I’m experiencing a moment of hygge: a phenomenon first documented in 18th-century Denmark that’s been crucial to Danes ever since.

    Hygge (pronounced hue-gah) is a Danish word that defies a literal translation but can be described as a feeling or mood that comes taking genuine pleasure in making ordinary, every day moments more meaningful, beautiful or special. Whether it’s making coffee a verb by creating a ritual of making it then lingering over a cup to a cozy evening in with loved ones, to the simple act of lighting a candle with every meal. Hygge is being aware of a good moment whether it’s simple or special.

    Continue Reading…

  • Roots and Wings

    Friday, December 23, 2016 No tags Permalink

    My children each year ask me the same question. After thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:

    What do I want for Christmas? I want you. I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your spouse, your kids. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don’t care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.

    I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how, and I’m not bragging, but I did a pretty darn good job. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work, I’m pretty proud of it.

    Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don’t mind. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Christmas, I say “nothing” because you’ve already been giving me my gift all year. I want you.

    I am bragging, because I think I really did do a good job with my son. He started his Christmas break from work yesterday. He knew that this is always an extremely hectic work week for me, so he surprised me by stopping by my office to say hello and bring me a latte. And earlier this week I had a flat tire, he kept checking on my thought the day,seeing if I needed help or a ride. In short, he thinks of those around him instead of thinking that the world revolves around him.  One day he’s going to make an excellent husband.

    One of my favorite photos of him on this day in 2008. I know it wasn’t December 23, 2009 because I was having back surgery on that day and definitely not crawling around on the floor with my camera! 

    Continue Reading…